18-08-10

English motherfucker do you speak it?



Hey you guys day at the spa was amazing really relaxing, but unfortunately I came home to find myself in a depressing talk about school with my parents. Kinda turns out I will not be able to start school properly ( I knew that before, but now it's just come so close to that point that it actually hit me that I am sick for real) So I have to look at the options I have of changing schools, dropping subjects, not going to school at all, being home-schooled, try to work it out on a regular school or going to a private school and honestly... I haven't got the slightest clue of what I should do.

I said to my dad if I were home-schooled I'd really miss people of my age and just be totally isolated, and I asked him if he would give that all up if he were 16. And he said those were different times, he said if my parents told me I would be home-schooled by tomorrow I would agree, no discussion no say. So I guess I'm lucky I still have a choice. Ha! am I really saying I'm lucky? I will never get to be what I want ; doctor because I will probably drop a level which is havo ( if I can even do that ) I'm going to be unlike anyone of my age for about three or four years ( because that will be how long it will take to finish school if I only do 3 subjects a year ) I won't have a job, go out, have a lot of friends ( 'cuz oh how I've learned people let you down! ) or doing anything that's nearly normal to your typical 16-year old. 

So that makes me...what? A weirdo, an outsider a creep? Well it actually doesn't make me anything, I'm just the same old girl with the same passion for clothes, who still loves the boys, who can't wait to go out, who loves to be surrounded by friends and loves to laugh. Too bad people are too busy with their own little lives and I get that, I mean I'm the friend you can't go out with or talk too loud to or else she will get a headache, but no matter how you twist and turn people love themselves more than they love you. Just too bad I already had to find out by the time I was sixteen.

But at the same time all things are relative, look at the disaster flooding in Pakistan, I mean I still have my house, my mom, my dad, my brother. And even if I didn't have a house, I would still have those three people, and I know they love me, maybe even more than they love themselves. And that i guess makes me the luckiest girl in the world. 



3 opmerkingen:

  1. Hii,
    Gelukkig heb je een leuke dag in de spa gehad! Ik hoop dat je snel een oplossing vind die voor jou mogelijk en nog gedeeltelijk leuk is! Veel succes,
    xx

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  2. Cuuute smile ! Je haar zit hier echt leuk ♥ . Mooie foto's !

    xxxxx'

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